blood to blood.

I always see it…

Every time.

How I’m affected by every word he says

No matter how hard I try not to care

It’s in my fucking blood;

His blood;

Our blood;

The blood he gave me.

And the saddest thing is

That I cannot get rid of it.

Well, I could cut my veins and let all my blood pour on the floor

But then I’d be dead,

So, no thank you.

I just feel that every decision I make is wrong

All these years he’s been putting this sense of guilt in me

So that I am constantly doubting myself.

Why yes this is a greek tragedy

Call HOMER.

I just don’t know why I keep seeking his approval

Every.fucking.time.

How is this even possible?!

I see that he wouldn’t approve of anything I do,

So a normal person would just stop asking this person for his/her opinion.

But Nooooo

I keep looking for…

I don’t even know what anymore

What do I fucking ecxpect?!

‘good job’ or ‘very well’?!

I just…

Have no fucking idea anymore!

It’s a vicious circle

I show him something,

he doesn’t say anything

Or makes a sarcastic remark,

I curse him

And think what an idiot I am.

And then we do it over again.

I just want to tell everyone

FUCK YOU

How can you even try to oppress your own fucking opinions on me?!

I’ve never tried to make someone believe in what I believe in,

I respect people’s fucking values and beliefs

For god’s sake

How can you all be so selfish?!

I will dress the way I want,

Will get as many tats as I want

Will dye my hair the colour I want to

And PLEASE don’t start with the

‘this is what every teenager says, you just want to be unique but that way you turn yourself into a part of the herd and you want to be a rebel and a punk, rock chic or sth but you’re just a normal teen ’

WHAT??

I am 20 years old

I am completely capable of making decisions and weighing the risks

Before taking them

I just…

No.

V.