a portrait of the artist as a young (neurotic) girl.

I know my limits.

I know all my abilities.

I like the way I look; the way I talk; the way I write

I don’t stop improving

I like my lifestyle, If I didn’t like it I would have changed it

I write in English not only because I can,

I write that way because I want to, because the words come that way,

because my thoughts float in that direction.

I don’t care if I make mistakes, I know I repeated that word 10 times.

I wrote it that way

On purpose

Because I wanted to

Not because I had to

I don’t smoke while I write every time,

Like those writers used to do

I smoke sometimes only when I write

Because I want it

That way.

***

I don’t like tea , I fancy coffee more.

But late at night right before I go to bed I drink tea

It’s not a good tea, it’s cheap and watery

But I like it

And I drink it that way

Because I want to.

 ***

I don’t write on paper

I write on my laptop

I know paper is more romantic and these great writers wrote that way

And they used their typewriters and created masterpieces

But my typewriter is not in English and I am too slow on it

And although I want to be like those great writers

Like Bukowski, Virginia Woolf and Hemigway

1. I don’t use such offensive words like Bukowski

2. I’m not mad like Woolf

And 3^rd I can’t drink like Hemingway

So my every attempt to be like these great men and women

Would only make me a worse poet

A poorer writer and a bad storyteller.

And I don’t want that

Because if I am not me

I would be someone else

 And no one else is like me

And I would be gone

Vanished

Not existing.

***

I don’t like drinking alone

But sometimes I drink some wine

But it’s not the same

I don’t like it

I need to have company to drink

Alcohol

Because it makes me warm

Being with people

Who want to be with me

Because sometimes we forget

How important it is

To tell people

That we love

Them and

being around them.

There’s not a worse feeling in the world

Than the feeling

Of being left out

And forgotten.

***

I make lists with things I have to do

But I don’t always complete them

I forget a thing or two

Or I buy more eggs than I had to

But it’s okay

Because it doesn’t matter

I like my eggs

Scrambled and with cheese

And after all

You don’t always have to follow a list

To be perfect.

 ***

‘Cause life can be pretty great

even

if you can forget a thing or two.

V.