01/12/12

I’m in a standstill.

I don’t work, I don’t study, I don’t write anything proper.

I just sit here on my laptop

smoking, drinking – anything available from water to gas

and do nothing.

I watch a lot of shows

And smoke.

Oh, and today I started taking valerians

We’ll see what happens.

I don’t know if I expect them

To make me calmer,

To help me fall asleep

Or anything at all.

I’m afraid to put off my cigarette

Because without it

I’ll have nothing else to do.

I feel like with the dying smoke in the ashtray

Die all my hopes and goals

I had in the beginning of this year.

And ain’t that sad.

V.