21

I’m sitting here in the morning on my 21^st birthday and I drink my usual coffee with a cigarette. My mornings are pretty standard. Caffeine, nicotine and listening to Everlast because he’s the only man who has never judged me. I open my facebook to see all the people congratulating me and wishing me happy birthday. It’s nice when strangers are nice to you. 

My dearest friend Denis has made me a special birthday wish and you can see it here. He’s one of the people who have influenced me greatly through the years and he did it today, too.

Now I will tell you the 21 things I’ve learned through my life because as one wise man once told me “if age meant wisdom, the world would have been a much better place right from the start”. I may not know much but I try not to cheat myself or others. Buddha said that the first step is preaching and next one is living by the rules who have already preached. That’s the tricky part.

1.       Life’s so fucking short. – I mean literary, practically, theoretically. You get 80 no more than 100 years to live and do all of the things you want. After that you die. That’s all, folks.

2.       No fucking regrets. – You have these short precious 100 years. You must not bear any regrets in yourself. Regretting means wasting time and you can’t afford that.

3.       Don’t take people under consideration. – Your parents/grandparents/boyfriends/girlfriends/best friends/ teachers/tv hosts – they are all human beings and human beings, as great as they can be, are deceptive, weak, biased, greedy and they’ll lead you on. Don’t stay somewhere because of someone. Don’t study something just because of someone. Don’t go somewhere because it’ll make someone else happy. Don’t think a certain way because you’re trying to impress someone. Because relationships fall apart, people die, people cheat and they’ll disappoint you. No matter how much they’ve loved you before. Keep your faith in humans but don’t depend on one.

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4.       Be kind to strangers lest they be angels in disguise –  Although I seem like a bitch sometimes, I am actually ready to accept anyone. I will share with you my food, my wine, my cigarettes, my weed, my shelter and everything I have. And I will not expect anything from you. I will just hope that someday you will do that for someone else in need.

5.       Never judge. – “Only God can judge me” is probably the worst, most clichéd phrase in the world and I personally hate it. You can judge only yourself. Everyone is fighting their own battles, taming their own demons – you are not allowed to judge what you cannot perceive.

6.       Don’t fear. Don’t worry. Don’t anger yourself. – Another useless waste of effort and time.

7.       Follow your path. – And if you don’t know what your path is yet – find it.

8.       Always learn. – I don’t mean like in a university or school. Learn in life. Read. Educate yourself. Knowledge is what will save you.

9.       Create yourself. – Colour your hair or cut it all off, tattoo your hands and legs and make yourself. The person you feel that you have to be. Others will always judge you. That’s inescapable. Find the mirror that’s inside you and make your peace with yourself.

10.   Never fear change. – We are people, we are MEANT to evolve and move constantly. If you were supposed to stay static, you would have been a painting or a sculpture. The more you try to avoid change, the more you are killing and cheating yourself. Most mistakes are those ‘missed chances’ you passed by because you thought it’s too scary/hard/hot/cold/early/needed-too-much-effort. If you wish for effortless swimming with nothing but a light breeze ahead of you, you might as well give up now.

11.   Take chances. – Take the first train to a place you never visited. Meet some strangers. Live with them. Learn from them. Love them. Then set them free and let them be happy. Taking a certain chance world turn out to be the best thing that happens to you. You don’t wanna miss that, do you?

12.   Live in the moment. – Fuck the future, the past will never come back. Day by day. Be grateful for being alive every time you wake up. Think fondly of those you’ve met through your life, they’re the reason why you are this way and not that way today. They’ve changed you more or less but they’ll never come back. Keep them warm in the back of your head and look ahead of yourself. That’s where you’re headed to.

13.   Love those around you. – The fact is: your parents will always love you. You will also always love them. It’s natural, genetic and that’s what humans do. Unfortunately, sometimes it’s not that easy loving your parents or at least showing them that. And that’s okay. But look around yourself and see all the other things you can love and appreciate. Love your friends because if they’re like mine, they will become your family. Love your pets – your dog is ready to die for you any time you order him. I think that’s a pretty good reason for loving him? Love doesn’t mean sex. You can love all human beings around you without it being sexual. Because you know.. I bet there are a few good reasons for loving your boyfriend/girlfriend, right?

14.   Love yourself. – Learn how to walk next to your shadow like next to an old friend and then you’ll be in peace. Don’t expect others to accept you if you can’t even accept yourself.

15.   Feed your passion. – Do everything with a burning flame inside you. We are humans, we have emotions. Why should we hide the emotions we bear because it will make us more “tough”? This goes for anything: your job, your relationship, your education, even your everyday conversation with a good friend – do them all with a flaming passion, some hyper obsessive mania that pours down from your whole being. So what if others think you’re crazy? What a horrible life they must lead if they never get into a state of exaltation? Is that what you want? Having the life of a stone-cold rock?

16.   Positive outlook on life. – Pessimism gets you nowhere. It drags you down the gutter and suffocates you. Ignorant positivism will do that also. Find the perfect balance. There are only great things for you down the road. Expect them.

17.   Never look down on someone unless you’re helping them out. – Keep that thought everywhere you go: there is always the possibility of you sinking into the same situation like the person next to you.

18.   Inspire. – If you see someone struggling with finding their own way, go and help them. If they don’t know something, teach them. If they’re hungry, feed them. If they are sad and empty, love them. They need it.

19.   Don’t search for the approval of others. – It’s a complete waste of time, and you don’t benefit from it in any way. Not your father, your mother, your best friend, your mentor, not even your sweet beloved  grandma should tell you that you did good or bad. Don’t listen to me then, take it from someone a little more reputable, Dr. Hannibal Lector: “Would they give you a medal, Clarice, do you think? Would you have it professionally framed and hang it on your wall to look at and remind you of your courage and incorruptibility? All you would need for that, Clarice, is a mirror.”

20.   Never fear death. – Be ready to die at any given moment. That’s the only way to live truly. You can’t stay at home forever because you’re afraid that you might get killed. It’ll turn you into a vegetable.

21.   Don’t love things. – Materialism is what put us into this mess in the first place. “The things you own end up owning you”. How sad would you be if I burn all of your clothes? How devastated would you be if I smash all the pretty glasses and plates in your fancy kitchen? Would you still be able to continue with your life if I break your laptop, your iphone and your TV? The real answer is: you’ll be okay because you were not initially designed to depend on “stuff”. So you’d better put down your 700$ tablet and go out. You don’t need something to be enough.

As I wrote these 21 rules I try to abide by I realize that they all tie down to the most basic, simplest and purest philosophy of living my life. And I try as hard as I can to teach others. First my friends and then who knows… maybe the whole world?

 Unfaithfully yours, V.